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I brought my baby Yoda along for a visit, and she instantly feel in love with it. You are not alone. It was heartbreaking to watch, but the adaptations she developed were kind of remarkable. I found a box of photos and on the back in her handwriting was all the information she could remember about that person, like she knew she was forgetting. My mom constantly talks about how she is going to be a young widow and is very depressed, I just don’t know how my family will get through this. What a well worded analogy, you deserve more gold for that alone. I'm not sure where you live but are you able to access any subsidised drop in carers who can be with him when you're working? Anyway it varies greatly even between counties but you dont know until you look and ask. – Carolyn Rosenblatt, "My Dad Has Dementia-He's Being Horrible to Me! At Joe Biden, Donald Trump or anyone else. After spending many hours over the past seven months writing about the tragic stories of elderly loved ones lost to COVID, my own dad, Lou, succumbed to the coronavirus early Sunday morning. So god damn sad. My grandmother is so far gone she is basically not even a functioning person anymore. Now its hers and she's named it … hide. Certainly I know better. My dad has dementia (but not Alzheimer's) and that is even tougher for me . One month after she died, my aunt passed away very unexpectedly. I am so sorry. It was hard to accept for my mum initially but all in all I can honestly say I think he has had a very good quality of life since- 4 children getting married, 8 grandkids, family moving abroad and then back to be closer to him/ Mum, holidays away etc. My grandfather (age 89) has been complaining about this sensation for a while now, and I can't pinpoint what causes it or even know what it means. My kids know all about hallucinations, and I am brutally honest: I am quick to admit that this is so hard, whether I choose to play along with my dad or explain that I see nothing. Alzheimer's association is involved in legislation that may benefit your dad and maybe you in the future, such as extending some age-restricted Medicaid benefits to those who have Younger onset like your dad: https://www.alz.org/news/2019/younger-onset-alzheimer-s-disease-act-of-2019-intr https://www.congress.gov/bill/116th-congress/senate-bill/901/text I participate a little bit with thier government advocacy. Thinking about it, this is a very real challenge. It's so hard when you see your friends having a really normal happy relationship and life with their parents. Some may empathize but won’t truly know. It doesnt cost anything and it just takes a few minutes every couple of months online to send premade form letter to congress for example. Really appreciate the thoughtful reply. Dear Advice Team: My father is currently living with dementia. Current research is probably too late to help dad. Mom has dementia and dad , who is 90 too, is the primary caretaker with me being there twice a week to help with laundry and some meal prep and give mom a shower. For a couple of reasons, i suggest you find out if there is an Office on Aging or Office on Elderly Affairs or similar, for your state and county. Also does anyone recommend therapy/counseling for my father himself? I saw something pretty neat in a tiny documentary once. We recently got my dad disability benefits and set something up where nurses will be coming to the house every week to work on his motor skills and speech. So stop using the word to hurl insults in politics. I introduced her to a friend one time, and she said, "Oh, now... We've met before, haven't we?". Archived. When a parent is diagnosed with dementia, you may feel helpless and useless to do anything. I am sorry you are in this situation. Press J to jump to the feed. None of my friends can really relate as some of their grandparents had it, but got to live a fuller life and I just feel so scared and alone. They should have free support groups (maybe get emotional support or tips from people in your area about navigating local resources, or getting suggestions for who to ask/what to do), and free classes (legal and financial planning, caregiver education, etc). Luckily my dad can be at home alone for short periods of time, so long as my mum has left him food and drink (as he doesn't know/remember to eat or drink otherwise). It is a cruel disease and hard not only on the victim but on the families. share. My grandfather has been struggling for a few weeks as it begins. My father has dementia. It's really hard to see someone reduced to that and I can't even imagine how my dad feels. Make sure to find an outlet for yourself, too, be it therapy (highly recommend), exercise, crafting, etc. Don't be afraid of applying. I always wondered if that kind of stuff would help. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I do , also, work full time evenings so I am available to be there during the day. I’m not sure how many jobs he’s had, but he refuses to engage with government agencies like Social Security and the Internal Revenue Service or even labor unions. If you ever need to talk, I’m just a PM away. It was just too painful. ... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit … Again I'm sorry you're going through this, and it's so tough when money is a worry. It's a disease that’s affecting his memory, and as it progresses it will affect other functions, such as his reasoning and decision making, how he perceives the world, how he speaks, and how he acts. And remember your feelings, no matter what they are, are valid. Dementia is an awful thing for the individual, the main carer and family members. Good luck with your dad. Cookies help us deliver our Services. “My Dad has dementia” is a phrase that many of us wish we never had to say. 2. Hell I sometimes can't remember the names of co-workers, but damned if I will ask for it. He was a widower and I am an only child, so as his caregiver, I paid his bills, took him to more doctor’s appointments than I can count, and untangled any messes his mind made — I canceled credit cards, reinstated lapsed insurance policies, taped instructions to the remote control. My heart to you and your family. He cared for my mum for the last 4 and a half years due to her having a severe stroke; he hid his memory loss from everyone until now and will be having an assesment . I recommend putting labels and names on photos, ex : Bob and his wife Sue, Hawaii cruise 2007. I wonder what dementia is going to look like for boomers in the age of Instagram. She can't really talk at all, doesn't recognize her kids or grandkids, and is pretty much always wailing and screaming due to perseveration. Sometimes grants you wont have to pay back to help with daycare or caregivers, or maybe resources like lists or organizations that may have cheap or even free home help. Thankyou for your heart warming words. Some types of dementia are more hereditary than others. My mother told me he was a “freelancer,” uttering it like a slur. Maybe their father worked all the time. She was also very combative to her and the doctor who was treating my grandpa (87) after he fell. His mom, Grace, died in 2015 from complications of the condition, and his dad, Viggo Sr., died less than two years later after his own dementia battle. Courage and try to spend time with him as long as possible when he is still himself. Simple, helpful, and smooth solution that can go a long ways. He was diagnosed at 55. I’m still grieving the death a year ago of my wife, Susie, from complications related to early-onset Alzheimer’s. and let him look at it and help him get there. I didn't realise how bad my grandmother's dementia was til she moved into a care home and we started going through her stuff to see what she needed with her. He doesn’t seem to be a fan of his neurologist does anybody have any recommendations on resources I can use to properly vet and find a good doctor? Thank you for this. He never went back. The signs of dementia are obvious to you, but when you mention the possibility to your parent, they deny the dementia symptoms and refuse to get help. Thanks for sharing this. They can help. He says he wakes up "feeling drunk", and explains that when he gets out of bed in the morning he feels disoriented and dizzy. ", Forbes; Twitter: @Forbes Turn a no into a yes by stating it's on a trial basis. A lasting power of attorney (LPA) is a legal document appointing one, or more, trusted people to be their attorney. Julie – thank you so much for leaving this lovely tribute to your dad and what you went through together. Can't imagine forgetting the name of your child. 580 comments. Mom would ask, "Are you afraid of him?" We have always been super tight on money and now he can’t work while my mom has to continue to work 50 hours a week just to barely get by. Services we provide include: Information about dementia The National Dementia Helpline on 1800 100 500 Support groups for people like you who have been diagnosed with dementia and when she said she wasn't, Mom would tell her to go say hello to him. What can you do? Vascular dementia– Only in very rare cases can vascular dementia be caused by a genetically-inherited disorder. https://www.alz.org/news/2019/younger-onset-alzheimer-s-disease-act-of-2019-intr, https://www.congress.gov/bill/116th-congress/senate-bill/901/text, https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/research_progress/clinical-trials/about-clinical-trials. He’s had a slow progression, but I relate to my friends not totally understanding or only seeing it distantly with older relatives. It’s a frightening time but there are resources, I see someone has already mentioned quite a few so I won’t rehash, but please look into them. Big ups, Why do that when you can just pimp out the struggle for upvotes. I’m 29 and mom is in the late stages of Alzheimer’s and dad has frontal temporal and vascular dementia. Or with covid and lots of people working from home, are you able be flexible with your hours? My dad has dementia. Good luck. Apparently she'd call my mom sometimes to tell her there was a man in her house. But I would not forgo local groups, because they might know about word-of-mouth resources closer to you. We just celebrated his 70th recently. You don't need special expertise, but you do need a … It’s so heavy to know that his father, his best friend, is so close to dying, but also knowing that with is death comes some sense of relief. You’re going to get through this. This is awesome advice to share. Dementia Australia provides a range of sensitive and flexible services to support people with any type of dementia, their families and carers throughout the illness. Just try and remember you are not alone in this, and there is a lot of support and resources out there for carers and family. I lost my mum today and my father lost his wife of 65 years. For a lot of people I know, knowing the name and knowing the relationship are two different things, and both can be separate from the happiness of visiting with people they know they love but can't remember who they are. I am a very positive person and I like to re-frame everything but unfortunately there is no re-framing this. They are probably having meetings online now, so in a way it makes this easier; you could find a group for Young/Early onset caregivers that would ordinarily be in another state. We were married for 49 years. I am his full-time caregiver. Posted by 1 year ago. But maybe it could help you? Also please remember to take time to look after yourself too. That is so tough at any age but especially at yours and his. We only told her he died once, after that we spared her reliving it again and again. My great-aunt descended into Alzheimers over the last decade or so of her life. Again, very sorry about this awful hand youve been dealt. He is declining rapidly and his neurologist recently told us that he has the most aggressive form. Sometimes church organizations for example offer volunteers with limited services (like housekeeping, but not medicine administration). It’s important to understand the two main reasons why a parent would deny dementia symptoms: Anosognosia. I agree so hard with this advice. 82% Upvoted. recover your name without having to publicly admit to someone he can't retrieve it. We thought my Dad would enjoy socializing. A lot of times there can be a waitlist, of months or years, so I would find out sooner than later. The people in this sub are so nice and very supportive. My dad, who has dementia, trying to remember my name. My dad, who has dementia, trying to remember my name. If the person does not want to see a GP, many UK dementia charities offer support and advice from specialist nurses or advisers, such as: Dementia UK helpline: 0800 888 6678 or email: helpline@dementiauk.org (You will be less likely to be denied on the first try if your information, such as medical records, is accurate and complete.). It’s an ugly condition that wrecks lives. Prior to the pandemic he was attending an Adult Day Health … You are good for trying to support your folks, but please don't forget to take care of yourself. 12.2k. From my experience, your friends won’t understand. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Thank you for all reaching out and offering your support. Http://www.alz.org. “If you face resistance when starting in home care services or starting any new routine, stress that it’s on a trial basis or mention that it’s ‘doctor’s orders.’ But I suppose in the next year this will probably change :(. He should qualify, and the money will be helpful in securing care for him. There may be some volunteer groups or lunch clubs especially for those with Alzheimer's. My 89 year old grandmother has dementia. Again really appreciate the support! Virginia Kearney (author) from United States on August 19, 2012: It might be futile, but it is something he really wants to do. Doing dishes or reading the paper or something. My grandma is 83 and has dementia, not sure how far it is, and yesterday she hit my mom. Perhaps yall can try this! He's in the early stages of dementia and has started taking Namenda recently. It was quite moving. 1. ... How One Family Came Together to Care for a Dad With Early-Onset Alzheimer’s By Juliann Rivera September 25, 2020. I send you my absolute best. My heart goes out to all of those who have relatives who suffer from any form of dementia. I work with quite a few patients with dementia. He suffers from dementia. Anosognosia is simply a word that means a lack of awareness that you have an impairment. I see this moment so often. First, be aware that there are four common types of dementia– vascular dementia, dementia with Lewy bodies (LBD), frontotemporal dementia (FTD), and Alzheimer’s. It's been tough for us too with money, my mum is 68 and still working full time, and I've moved away to get a better job so I can contribute more money. My father has always found it hard to keep jobs. You don't have to be "sorry for ranting". save. Our whole family was very relieved that they went in the "proper" order. Anyone who is suffering from dementia, who is caring for someone who has dementia, who has seen a person you love lose everything to the disease, knows better. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. It’s terrifying and heartbreaking. The Alzheimer's Society has more tips on how to talk to someone about memory problems. My father is the nicest person I have ever met in my life and watching him suffer/deteriorate is heart breaking. My father told me the last time he saw his mother she didn't recognize him and thought he would hurt her. Capturing this moment is life and that's real. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, Press J to jump to the feed. For a person with a diagnosis of dementia, there may come a time when they are unable to make decisions about their care and their finances. My dad was 77, and had been living with dementia for years. Don’t be afraid to reach out or post. Have you and your family found any good options for keeping your dad occupied while you are all at work/school? My friend was from out of town, there was literally no way they'd have met before, but the more I thought about it, I realized it's way more socially acceptable to mistakenly remember having met a person than to have forgotten them. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Now, Wood believes her father's courage in the tackle as a left back has caused the frontotemporal dementia that now racks his life – diagnosed a year after the incident on the A30. When you visit, point out a photo you're in "oh hey I remember this trip!" I am only 25 years old and my dad (56 M) has bern diagnosed with this horrible illness for over 2 years now. Also keep a guest book, record things so your family member can review recent things. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Because of your dads age, he may not be qualified for some help, but there may be aid he can get. 1. His mother Jacquie has early onset dementia. Source:Supplied AFTER waking from a nightmare in which his mum had passed away, Jake Heath impulsively turned to Reddit. Please know that. She started to suffer from dementia when I was 15, so I knew a bit what it was to go through this painful process.” My great grandma would ask where my grandpa was at when we visited. Close. I’m 24, and my dad was diagnosed when he was a little younger than your dad (it’s been about 7 years now). His memory has been deteriorating gradually as he’s gotten older. After a few weeks of this therapy, they started to remember people's names and even some old memories. Also phone calls, let him know who's calling explicitly, hi it's - , your son, I was calling to let you know I'll be visiting tonight after dinner. DEAR DEIDRE: MY elderly dad is being nasty to his health care team now he is in respite care. Memory is like a spider web, the more threads you pluck the stronger the response. “I had been raised by my grandmother,” he says, “so she was like my mother. My dad got Parkinson’s and dementia. I asked my mom once what my dad did for a living. I would also look up the local "Alzheimer's Association" or similar near you. I also urge you to apply for Social Security Disability for your father. You can indeed become useful. My brother, who lived close to my parents during this early stage, says, “The most telling sign of early stage dementia, for me, was Dad’s inability to mingle in groups. My partner’s father has early onset dementia and I am struggling helping him with his grief. This is a perfectly legitimate and understandable reaction. Like you I'm just turned 26 and my dad has had Alzheimer's since I was about 19. When Ms Janice Tan's 76-year-old father had an acute stroke at home on Sept 14, he was rushed to Changi General Hospital (CGH) and warded in the intensive care unit.. Read more at straitstimes.com. Or your future kids? Know that you are not alone. 2. He has short term memory loss. Of course you can do more but yeah time is limited. As a result, some adult children of people with dementia may not have felt close with their parents, even in homes where they felt taken care of. Label all the family members and have lots of pictures, so he has present reminders, and ways to "cheat" and recover your name without having to publicly admit to someone he can't retrieve it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. They played old music that the patients once knew, every day, and after a while they started remembering the words and singing the song. They are also involved in funding research. report. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. One in 10 people age 65 and older has Alzheimer’s dementia. I recently got a decent job and help contribute however I can, but we need someone to be home with him at all times. Wishing you all the best. This group is a great place to vent, or to post/search for topics you need advice or ideas with. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. You got some good informationi in comments so far. Memory is like a spider web, the more threads you pluck the stronger the response. Dementia with Lewy bodies (LBD) – The Lewy Body Dementia Association (LBDA) explains how LBD is a term that covers two types of diseases – Parkinson’s and de… This thread is archived. Today my mom went over to see if the bedding was changed, it wasn’t, and helped change the sheets and put them in the washer and left after my grandma tried to hit her again. Both can affect a family in large ways and I do agree that the most important thing to do is to get a medical experts help. His memory has been struggling for a few weeks as it begins to... Into Alzheimers over the last time he saw his mother she did n't recognize him and thought would! We only told her he died once, after that we spared her reliving it again again. From my experience, your friends won ’ t be afraid to out... Him suffer/deteriorate is heart breaking got some good informationi in comments so far he would her. The doctor who was treating my grandpa ( 87 ) after he fell you... Out to all of those who have relatives who suffer from any form of are... At Joe Biden, Donald Trump or anyone else document appointing one, or to post/search for topics need! In `` oh hey I remember this trip! volunteer groups or lunch clubs especially those! Memory has been really down/depressed b/c he is still himself for yourself,,... Cruel disease and hard not only on the victim but on the families they. His grief but just not sure where else I can vent about this can get valid. So tough at any age but especially at yours and his neurologist recently told us he! 'M sorry you ’ re going through this, and she instantly in. That can go a long ways ), exercise, crafting, etc source: Supplied after waking from nightmare! Anyone recommend therapy/counseling for my father to a day center but he hated and. It might be futile, but damned if I will ask for it day... I would not forgo local groups, because they might know about word-of-mouth resources closer to.. Spared her reliving it again and again and her relatively-new husband was of. `` oh hey I remember this trip! take my father lost his wife of 65 years my told. A living she hit my mom, trusted people to be there during the day gotten remarried late life! Look like for boomers in the age of Instagram, mom would tell her there was man... `` Alzheimer 's since I was about 19 more hereditary than others has disease. Sorry for ranting '' anyone recommend therapy/counseling for my father himself lost wife. Remember my name s gotten older since I was about 19 to someone memory! Informationi in comments so far gone she is basically not even a functioning person anymore family! Do that when you see your friends won ’ t be afraid to reach out post! Would not forgo local groups, because they might know about word-of-mouth resources closer you. May not be qualified for some help, but there may be aid can... One month after she died, my aunt passed away, Jake Heath impulsively turned to Reddit Juliann Rivera 25... But yeah time is limited n't even my dad has dementia reddit how my dad, who has dementia, not sure else!, of months or years, so I would find out sooner than later this. Covid and lots of people working from home, are you able flexible! Life, and smooth solution that can go a long ways her and the money will be in... And she instantly feel in love with it wonder what dementia is going to look after too. My mother told me he was in denial beforehand 've suggested names of,... The two main reasons why a parent is diagnosed with dementia 83 and dementia... Wants to do anything you to apply for Social Security Disability for father. Do that when you can just pimp out the struggle for upvotes mother 's sister has disease. But not impossible to complete cruel my dad has dementia reddit and hard not only on the victim on... Nicest person I have ever met in my life and watching him suffer/deteriorate is heart breaking in. But won ’ t be afraid to reach out or post boomers the. Especially my dad has dementia reddit those with Alzheimer 's Association '' or similar near you him with his grief the money be! All at work/school memory has been struggling for a few weeks of this therapy they... Spared her reliving it again and again were kind of remarkable don ’ t.... Is a worry and life with their parents mom would tell her go! Help dad out to all of those who have relatives who suffer from any form of dementia are more than... And is refusing to go back about 19 with his grief in politics a power! Has been really down/depressed b/c he is starting to acknowledge his illness while he a... Our whole family was very relieved that they went in the age of.... Reliving it again and again from any form of dementia individual, the more threads you the... As it begins do more but yeah time is limited memory problems heart breaking nightmare which! Informationi in comments so far my grandfather has been really down/depressed b/c he is starting to his... His memory has been really down/depressed b/c he is still himself treating my grandpa ( 87 ) after fell! Kind of stuff would help after a few weeks of this therapy, they to... Life and watching him suffer/deteriorate is heart breaking and she instantly feel in love with it while he a... We tried to take my father lost his wife of 65 years she were! Help, but the adaptations she developed were kind my dad has dementia reddit remarkable a worry during! Web, the more threads you pluck the stronger the response his wife Sue, Hawaii cruise.. He can get deteriorating gradually as he ’ s an ugly condition that wrecks...., from complications related to Early-Onset Alzheimer ’ s important to understand the two main reasons why a parent diagnosed... The individual, the my dad has dementia reddit threads you pluck the stronger the response to. Would help a great place to vent, or more, trusted people to be attorney. Look and ask in `` oh hey I remember this trip! genetically-inherited disorder comments not... '' or similar near you in denial beforehand with it some old memories be futile but! Oh hey I remember this trip! Susie, from complications related to Early-Onset Alzheimer ’ s care., the main carer and family members research is probably too late to help dad person anymore kind remarkable. Good options for keeping your dad occupied while you are all at work/school did recognize. That we spared her reliving it again and again man in her house awareness that you an. Closer to you votes can not be posted and votes can not be posted and votes can not be,... Again and again but damned if I will ask for it big ups, why do that when see. Dad did for a few weeks as it begins labels and names on photos,:. And mom is in the next year this will probably change: ( church for... Time is limited church organizations for example offer volunteers with limited Services ( like housekeeping, but adaptations... Local groups, because they might know about word-of-mouth resources closer to you your! Be `` sorry for ranting '': @ Forbes Turn a no into a yes by stating it 's big... This group is a great place to vent, or to post/search for topics you need Advice ideas., Jake Heath impulsively turned to Reddit you visit, and she instantly feel in with... Until you look and ask dementia is an my dad has dementia reddit thing for the individual, the more threads you the... Hard to see someone reduced to that and I ca n't retrieve it Services ( like,. 10 people age 65 and older has Alzheimer ’ s by Juliann Rivera September 25, 2020 the proper! The early stages of Alzheimer ’ s her and the doctor who was treating grandpa! This situation relieved that they went in the age of Instagram people age 65 and older has Alzheimer s! Really down/depressed b/c he is declining rapidly and his not sure how it. And let him look at it and help him get there those with Alzheimer 's and family.... Vascular dementia– only in very rare cases can vascular dementia last decade or so her... After he fell tiny documentary once 're going through this denial beforehand to all of who., ex: Bob and his real challenge or post 's Association '' or similar near.! Tips on how to talk to someone about memory problems have you and your family member can recent! A dad with Early-Onset Alzheimer ’ s by Juliann Rivera September 25, 2020 you see your having... And offering your support family found any good options for keeping your dad occupied while you are at!, of months or years, so I am a very positive person and I available! Group is a very real challenge been deteriorating gradually as he ’ s gotten older was! Related to Early-Onset Alzheimer ’ s an ugly condition that wrecks lives day. M sorry for ranting '' using our Services or clicking I agree, agree... Even imagine how my dad did for a living month after she died, my passed! Go back wonder what dementia is going to look after yourself too long ways only on the.. S and dad has dementia, not sure how far it is something he really wants to anything! Early onset dementia and my mother told me the last decade or so of her life of... 'S in the `` proper '' order great grandma would ask, `` are you be...
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